


Oblivious

by MagicalMelancholy (orphan_account)



Series: Highschool-themed Homestuck Crack Fics [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crack Fic, Exaggerated Character Traits, Vriska Serket wants revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-24 22:50:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14963706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/MagicalMelancholy
Summary: Vriska wants revenge against Terezi for flaming her ZoSan fanfiction. Terezi seems to be completely unaware of Vriska's rage, or maybe she isn't? Whatever it is, Vriska is only getting angrier.(Also I absolutely hate this fanfic but I am gonna continue with it for that reason and the fact that I do want to add more stories to this crack continuity and can't do so with an unfinished fanfiction right in the middle of it).





	1. Sword Fight

  "Ok guys, we need to find a way to get back at Terezi for flaming my ZoSan fanfiction!" Vriska announced. She was in her room with Kanaya, Sollux, Aradia, and Tavros.

  "ZoSan?" Kanaya asked.

  "Why do we care again?" Tavros asked, tired of Vriska's shit. 

  "BECAUSE, when Terezi flamed my fanfiction, I argued back, and because of this, I have new followers that are only there to watch us argue! It's insulting!" Vriska complained. "Also, ZoSan is the ship name of Zoro and Sanji, I just love watching people in a relationship argue! It's so adorable! Sollux, you suggest something first."

  "Why don't you flame Terezi's fanfiction back?" Sollux asked.

  "You think I didn't try? She doesn't _have_ fanfiction! Aradia, you next."

  Aradia spoke. "If Terezi flamed your stories, why don't you flame something Terezi lo-" Kanaya covered Aradia's mouth. Vriska tried to open hers.

  "Don't even think about it Vriska." Kanaya said. Vriska closed her mouth. Aradia, disappointed, decided to look at Vriska's collection of weapon replicas.

  "So Tavros, do you have any ideas?" Vriska asked. 

  "Honestly, I'm only here because it's better than hearing my brother whine about his issues with his boyfriend, which he should've expected after cheating on his girlfriend to get with him!" Tavros said. "Sorry, I just needed to vent. By the way Aradia, how's Damara?" 

  "She's doing well, she switched to going to school online so technically she's already a graduate since she completed it quickly so she could get back to anime! She's still kinda reclusive, but she went to the grocery store with me this week, so she's improving. Guess this means that I can stop spiking Meenah's lunch with laxatives!" Aradia proclaimed.

  "How long have you been spiking Meenah's lunch? Because it could be really harmful to her and get you in trouble!" Kanaya said.

  "I've been doing it since Damara stopped going to school a year ago, and I know very well what kind of legal trouble I'm swimming in, that's why I haven't told her!" Aradia said while taking a particularly long sword out of its sheath to look at the blade.

  "No touching!" Vriska yelled.

  "But it has a long red string at the end!"

  "Give it back to me!"

  "No! This sword was meant for me! Doesn't it belong to the guy who can take out your still beating heart and do whatever to it?"

  "Yes and I want it back, this shit's expensive!"

  "I've always dreamed of holding a beating heart and yet I will never get to! This sword will help me live the dream somewhat!" Aradia and Vriska started wrestling. Kanaya went and held them both back by their heads.

  "Shouldn't you be asking me my opinion?" Kanaya asked Vriska. Kanaya would've suggested Aradia become a heart surgeon if she wanted to hold a human heart, but she didn't want to endanger any lives.

  "Oh yes! What is your opinion on the subject of my revenge?"

  "It's petty and stupid and you should call Rose about this."

  "Ok then, can I use your phone? I forgot what I changed her contact name to."

  "Oh sure." Kanaya handed Vriska her phone. Vriska called. Soon, she got a response.

  "Hello, Kanaya," Rose said casually.

  "I'm borrowing Kanaya's phone, this is Vriska, also, wouldn't couples usually go all lovey dovey on each other over the phone?"

  "After last time Kanaya lent her phone to someone, no, anyways, what do you want?"

  "Well, I was asking for ideas for revenge, and Kanaya recommended I call you."

  "Don't you have my number?" Rose asked.

  "I changed all of my phone contacts to One Piece characters and I kinda forgot who I made who, I figured out some people, but you weren't one of them."

  "Am I gonna have to watch 800 episodes to physcoanalyze both One Piece characters and you to help you find my phone number?" Rose asked.

  "Or you could tell me your phone number and I could look it up on my phone."

   Rose was silent. "Maybe I wanted to physcoanalyze everyone in the show..."

  "So are we gonna talk about revenge or..."

  "Oh yes, one method I like to use is to send the entirity of My Immortal to my enemies and make them cry of how horrible it is."

  "Thanks!" Vriska hung up the phone and handed it back to Kanaya. "Now Aradia, let me explain to you why you shouldn't trifle with my sword collection..."

* * *

  The next day, Vriska was holding a binder filled with paper. She put it in Terezi's locker and walked away. Terezi looked inside.

  "Thanks, Vriska! Now I won't be bored during sex ed today, and this will actually teach me more about it!" Terezi laughed and walked away to class. Rose walked to an angry Vriska.

  "It only works if the person you do it to isn't best friends with Dave, who may I remind you, eats this kind of ironic shit up." She said. 

  "Why didn't you fucking tell me?!" Vriska asked.

  "Why didn't you tell me who you wanted revenge against?" Rose asked back.

  "Fair point." Despite being calmed down for now, Vriska's rage for Terezi only grew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put way too many One Piece references in here so I should apologize for that. To even it out, I'll try to find something else to reference. I did always wanna show off my idea of Dave's taste in culture (which mostly involves anything and everything memetic). But the fanfiction is about Vriska so it'd be outta nowhere... Eh, I'll just write a fanfiction showing off Dave's daily antics someday. And yes, I am continuing the theme of inaccurate titles.


	2. Sollux and the Edgy Tattoos

  Sollux woke up in the middle of the night. He had a dream where Vriska tried to force him to wear her old laptop verbally. 'I can't fucking escape her attempts at forced cosplay, even in my dreams.' he thought. 

  Last year, there was a convention and Vriska wanted everyone to go as One Piece characters. Everything would've been annoying but fine if it weren't for one thing. When Vriska handed everybody costumes, Sollux noticed some custom water tattoo templates which spelled out death. He threw the costume at Vriska. She kept bugging him about it and spamming his phone, even paying some of her friends to do it. She even kept interrupting his classes with the pestering. 

  So, Sollux put bugs on her laptop by having it download all One Piece episodes on shady pirating sites using Internet Explorer. Sollux managed to win back her favor by removing the virus part of the shady files so her laptop didn't die, but he still left in everything else, so her computer would be irritatingly slow from the sheer amount of files that got downloaded. Sometimes, he'd borrow Vriska's now-unused laptop and delete the what was left of the episode files in chunks of 30 in an act of goodwill and being irritated at how he can barely use the thing. He'd delete them all, but it would take too long. Besides, the thing isn't even used anyways, since Vriska got that new laptop.

  Speaking of revenge, didn't Vriska talk to him about it a few days ago didn't she? He wanted to go back to sleep instead of going through with telling her the idea he just formed, but boredom prevailed. He texted Vriska about how he had the idea that she could pester Terezi over and over again to wear a costume. He did not want to be involved in this.

* * *

  Meanwhile, Vriska, who was up in the middle of the night scheming, got a text from Sollux. He said how she could pester Terezi about wearing cosplay. Thing is, she didn't know what Terezi would absolutely hate cosplaying.

  Ok, maybe she'd hate cosplaying Sasuke, but where would Vriska get a cosplay of him. She wasn't going to _buy_ the costume, that'd be contributing to enemy franchises! Vriska would never betray One Piece for Naruto, not even for revenge. She could ask Damara, but Damara's reclusive and a Naruto fan. Vriska is good friends with the girl who bullied Damara and is a One Piece fan, so it's unlikely that she'd ever talk to her, except maybe to argue on an anime forum about whether One Piece is better than Naruto (which it is). 

  Vriska decided to text Sollux back:

Doffy (Vriska): wonderful idea! i could force terezi into a sasuke cosplay and then take photos to 8lackmail her!

Doffy (Vriska): do you know where to get a free costume? i'd ask aradia to ask damara, 8ut i can see that not ending well

Law (Sollux): vrii2ka, ii am not even that iintwo aniime. why would ii know where two get a co2play of what ii hear two be a whiiny emo kiid. you know that guy that ii diidn't wanna co2play a2? iit wa2 becau2e he had edgy a2 fuck tattwo choiice2. why would ii know where two fiind a co2play of 2ome other emo kiid?

Doffy (Vriska): Eh, just thought I'd ask.

Doffy (Vriska): I just realized the irony of the contact names I gave ourselves. I mean, we're actually kinda friendly and yet

Law (Sollux): vrii2ka, iif you're gonna giive vague reference2, at lea2t do them at people who wiill under2tand them. what even are our contact name2 that you lii2ted u2 a2?

Law (Sollux): ...

Law (Sollux): you named me after that edgy guy, diidn't you

 

  Vriska didn't really feel like answering Sollux's question since he'd probably be mad at the answer and she didn't really wanna poke the bear that has recovered from the wounds after last time. She couldn't afford to get her new laptop ruined, because if she did, Aranea would be pissed at her, and if there was one thing Vriska was afraid of, it was pissing off her older sister. 

  If Sollux couldn't help her force Terezi into the costume Vriska wanted, Vriska would have to ask Dave to force her into the cosplay he wants.

* * *

  On Monday, Terezi came to school with a pinkish colored wig rolling a cherry around her tongue. She was followed by Dave wearing hat-hair and Karkat wearing half-heart shaped earrings. Vriska pulled Dave aside.

  "Why does Terezi seem to be enjoying her cosplay so much? I specifically asked you to make her suffer!" Vriska ranted.

  Dave breathed in. "We live in Florida and it is currently around the end of September, so I'm pretty sure she is suffering from those long sleeves and our 89-degree weather. Also, why the fuck would you ask me, one of Terezi's best friends, to help you with revenge? If you ask me, you just prompted me to try out my Stardust Crusaders Halloween today. We still need an Avdol, an Iggy, and an old Joseph, so if you'd like to volunteer yourself, go right ahead."

  Vriska had a shocked look on her face. "I was an idiot for asking you for help, Strider. I'll get you next." Vriska walked away ominously.

  "Or Terezi's luck will rub off on me and she'll fail at revenging me," Dave said to Karkat, who had just come next to him. 

  "Still shouldn't trifle with Vriska," Karkat said, tired.

  "I guess Terezi is cosplaying a memetic MILF hunter so she's being revenged a little bit? Nah, she isn't, Vriska is totally failing at this."


	3. The End

  Vriska was pacing around. She had no ideas left. She had to do the one thing she absolutely didn't want to do: Get Over It.

* * *

  It was a Wednesday. Vriska went up to Terezi.

  "You win" she begrudgingly said.

  "Ok!" Terezi said as she walked off. Vriska hated the fact that she admitted defeat, but Terezi was unbreakable. There was no way she could pull any sort of revenge that would hurt Terezi, especially over something this petty. Like, the sword fighting worked, but it only works once.

  Later that day, Vriska felt lighter.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfiction and the series associated with it may be my dumping ground for crap, but I care about this crappy continuity, so I will finish it no matter what (if you're gonna mention that rosemary fic I haven't finished, I'm leaving it on pause forever because I ran out of ideas and didn't really think the plot through, for this, I have many ideas that are stupid and that's why I dump them here). Also, expect a fanfiction about Dave going trick or treating as the Stardust Crusaders later on (though with the Part 5 anime announcement, I kinda wish he was getting his friends together to dress up as the cast of Part 5 of Jojo's instead, but eh, he already ordered the costume before the announcement was made).


End file.
